The journey continues

My dear Jesus, thank You for all You do. I love You. Thank You for the journey. I am not the same person. Thank You for the gift of friends. Thank You for helping me overcome lies with truth. Thank You for opening the eyes of my heart.

My life is not my own.

I am here because of and for God.

I don't get to choose the scene of my own martyrdom.

My thoughts are not God's thoughts and my ways are not His ways.

Do not lean on your own understanding.

Don't let your well-being depend on your circumstances.

All your circumstances are in the hand of God, therefore never think it strange concerning the circumstances you are in.

Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there.

Remember the promise of God's continual presence.

He is able.

Jesus is Lord.

These are some of the things I lived out during my journey. I am leaving with my favorite song and my favorite Scripture.

Alleluia, alleluia for the Lord God Almighty reigns. Worthy is the Lamb, worthy is the Lamb.

"May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in the inner man by the [Holy] Spirit [Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality].

May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,
 

That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
 

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!
 

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—
 

To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it)."

~Ephesians 3:16-21 AMP

The journey continues...

Till Jesus comes back...we move forward.

Thank you for CZECHING IN!

P40

Yes, it came. Today is my birthday. I am forty years old.  

 

It snowed today in a place where I grew up.
First snow of the season.  
 

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness" is the text from a present I got for my birthday. It is my son's prayer every night that "mama be happy".
The answer is LOVE. God is Love. Love is also what Jesus commands us to do in Mark 12.
So, today as I am celebrating I am also contemplating God's love for me and some words about love from Dr. James Richards.

Love is able to see wrong and still find the good. Love is able to see the weakness and point out the strength. Love is able to be offended by the sin, yet tenderly love the sinner. Love is able to listen patiently and preserve self-worth. 

Love cannot be explained; it can only be experienced. That experience starts when we commit ourselves to a life of love. A process begins that opens our hearts to receive love from both God and people. As we give love to others, we become able to receive love.

Love is not just an action; it is a dimension. When we enter this realm, we discover an entirely different world -- one that is not subject to the laws of the natural world. It is a realm wherein one can continually experience God, who is love (1 John 4:16). Faith becomes natural and understandable, for it works through love (Galatians 5:6). Fear has no power. All emotions are ruled by peace and confidence; there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18). It is the realm of the kingdom of God.

Now back to my birthday. I have a birthday wish. I wish I could touch the hem of His garment.

"For she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.”"

~Matthew 9:21 

Lord Jesus, may I follow You wholeheartedly and may I walk in love. I am making a commitment to renew myself daily and to pursue love-life with all my heart. I love You!
 

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How great

How great is our God... Worthy of all our praise.

"I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,

and I am saved from my enemies."

~Psalm 18:3

 

Here is my "final" recount, my "thankful" list.

Lord, I want to thank You that at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Thank You Jesus for being the ultimate sacrifice, reconciling us to the Father, forgiving us, making us clean and holy.

Thank You that the whole earth is full of Your glory.

Thank You that You rain in abundance. Thank You for Your grace.

Thank You that You fulfill Your purpose for me.

Thank You for the heavens and the e-ART-h.

Thank You for music.

Thank You for choosing a man for me and for joining us for seventeen years now.

Thank You for falling afresh on us.

Thank You that through Jesus we are able to walk by faith.

Thank You that You give me rest.

Thank You for Your Spirit that leads me.

Thank You for loving me, for saving me; what a glorious day!

Thank You for making us a poured-out wine.

Thank You for helping our hearts take courage.

Thank You for another kind of love; one that makes us better -- Your love.

Thank You for giving us victory through Jesus.

Thank You that we don't have to worry; that everything will be alright.

Thank You for overcoming the world so we could do the same.

Thank You for giving us mercy and grace; for Your help.

Thank You for being with me; I'll praise You in this storm.

Thank You that when a desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life.

Thank You for A Million Little Ways.

Thank You that we were made in Your image.

Thank You for helping me see.

Thank You that instead of sinking into worry and self-help I can sink into You.

Thank You for the sacred and secret things that happen in the waiting.

Thank You for the remaining journey; for helping me to see things differently.

Thank You that I can be hopeful, though it is painful, that I can be peaceful, though it's not easy, while I'm waiting.

Thank You that we live and move and have our being in You.

Thank You for my P40 journey and to all who had taken it with me.

Thank You for all that You taught me and the continuing of my walk with You.

And I have to include one of my favorite songs:

 

How great is our God – sing with me
How great is our God – and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
You're worthy of all praise
And my heart will sing
How great is our God

 

Thank You, Father. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Holy Spirit. Lord, You are worthy of all our praise. You are GREAT! May we sing, may we see.

 

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In Him

As my P40 journey is nearing the end, the journey is not over. I need to remember not to get discouraged in living and releasing my art; not thinking that I am wasting my time; resist the urge to disrespect a task because it doesn’t feel important; not to resist living within my ordinary days; and to become more fully myself for the glory of God. The following words of Emily Freeman are sadly so familiar to me but are here to help me remember. 

Here are eight statements we say to ourselves that may be keeping us from living and releasing our art:

1. I'm not cut out for this.
2. Someone else can do it better.
3. People might not like it.
4. I have nothing to offer.
5. I hate my calling.
6. It's a waste of time.
7. It's too much work.
8. Who do you think you are?

You know there is an art alive within you and the work you do to uncover it is not a waste of time. You are an image bearer and that is not about you becoming famous or important or promoted but about you becoming more fully yourself for the glory of God.

You may not be the first to say it, write it, create it, or believe it--but you saying it may be the first time someone finally hears.

Pay attention to when you use the word just. Because whatever comes after that word is usually where you’re allowing the art to die.

When we resist living within our ordinary days, we are in danger of losing a sense of ourselves. We don't need to walk away from our routines and daily rhythms to find something more interesting. More often we need to wake up to them.

Lord, may we live like artists rather than technicians, admitting that we are not in control, we may not have the answers, and our lives no longer belong to us. May we show up this day the same way we did the day we were born, with empty hands and an instinct to depend on someone bigger than ourselves. From now till the end.

"In him we live and move and have our being."

~Acts 17:28a

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While I'm waiting

 

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

~John Waller

 

Lord, not without Your help. I cannot do it. Help me to serve You, to worship You while I'm waiting. May I wait on You.

"And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you,

but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways,

to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart

and with all your soul."

~Deuteronomy 10:12

 

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;

bring an offering and come before him!

Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness."

~1 Chronicles 16:29

 

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."

~Psalm 37:7a

 

I am waiting, I am hopeful, though it is painful, I am peaceful, though it's not easy. Faithfully I will wait.

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Only five

There are five days left till my birthday, till the end of my P40 journey. Till beginning of exploring with abandon those things that make me come alive; pursuing "first" things; learning to see beyond what is to what could be; receiving grace and seeing things differently to name a few...

Lord, help me to do that.

Explore with abandon those things that make you come alive. If your flesh begins to put the art ahead of the Artist, disappointment will bring you back around again. If you begin to pursue lesser, secondary things, you need not fret so much about it. Trust that your clenching of second things will never fully satisfy.
Let disappointment do its deep work--remind you that your true desire is found, not in God's ways or God's will or God's blessings, but in God himself.

The Great Artist--the Maker of stars and straw and soil--was not supposed to be a carpenter. He was supposed to be a king. To reign strong, not sweat blood. To be served, not be a servant. To live long, not die a criminal. If we stopped there, with his death, the story would be unjust and unfair--and unfinished. And that is precisely the point.
Perhaps living into the fullness of who you really are is partially about learning to see beyond what is to what could be. Could it be there is more to the story that we don't know yet? It doesn't mean that God is trying to teach us a lesson in our difficulty. Perhaps he is simply creating a masterpiece.
God made the world, we messed it up, and then he came down to make it right again. He isn't a principal, he's an artist. He doesn't condemn, he creates. But sometimes we stop too soon. And when we do, things seem unjust. Perhaps they are simply unfinished. When the world tries to change you with its painful, cutting ways, instead embrace the story, receive grace, turn around, and change the world by deciding to see things differently.
(Emily Freeman)

You are better than you think you are. You are a far greater benefit than you think you are. You have not failed. For, I am with you and I am guiding you. You are a blessed one. You are a royal diadem. You are a jewel in My hand. So, you've been through the fire, but the fire is that which makes the jewel strong; it brings forth the beauty of that stone; it releases the power of My kingdom. So, change your mind today. Do not believe what has been spoken of you by others or by the evil one, or even by your own reckoning. Believe in this moment that I know you. I have not forgotten you. You belong to Me, and I belong to you. So, change your countenance and become happy in My kingdom--full of joy, full of blessing, full of that which I have put in you. (Bill Burns)

"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,

and a royal diadem in the hand of your God."

~Isaiah 62:3

 

"For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship),

recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew]

that we may do those good works which God predestined

(planned beforehand) for us

[taking paths which He prepared ahead of time],

that we should walk in them

[living the good life which He prearranged

and made ready for us to live]. "

~Ephesians 2:10 AMP

Father, thank You for Your promises. For making us a royal diadem in Your hand. For creating a masterpiece with our lives. Thank You for that which You have put in us. Thank You for Jesus.

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Waiting

You are the beloved. So be the loved. Receive your belovedness and then hand it out, receive grace and be gracious to others, remember your image-bearing identity and move into the world with a job to do. Show up as you are with what you've been given. And don't allow the voice of doubt and discouragement to hold you back.
But doubt and discouragement aren't our only hindrances to showing up in the world. It is possible for us to uncover the art we were born to make and show up to release it into the world only to be met with silence, inability to make progress, and a seemingly impossible artless road ahead. The lack of movement isn't because of fear or sin or lack of belief. Sometimes it's simply God asking us to wait.

These are Emily's words preceding the most crucial, most touching, most difficult chapter for me in her book, perhaps the reason why I was to read this book.

Yes, I too feel like I am in a period of waiting and that is why these words were most helpful.

You are in a season of waiting. When you finally show up ready to release your art by being the person you believe you are created to be, there may be nothing more disheartening than to be asked to wait. The waiting can drive us mad if we let it. It can become a merciless dictator, shoving us into shapes we aren't made for, shapes of worry and doubt and short tempers.
But the waiting can also grow us, shape us from the inside out for sacred work. This is a kind of work that happens only in the secret place of abiding in the presence of Christ even in the midst of broken dreams and tired circumstances.
We have a Maker who doesn't just throw the sun up into the sky in a shock of fire, but pulls it up slow every morning and down the same way every night. And if you stare as it happens, the change is hard to see, but if you close your eyes and count to twenty, everything is different when you open them back up again. It's because a lot happens in the transition--secret things, beautiful things, Spirit-led things.
There is still movement in this waiting, though it may be hard to see.

Emily shares two things that God said to her and her husband while they're waiting.

Move toward God. In all things, see Jesus. In all circumstances, whether success or failure, questions or answers, beauty or ashes, acceptance or rejection, look for Jesus. Stop trying so hard to read the Scriptures to look for answers but instead, let the Scriptures read you. Move toward God.
The second thing we sense God is saying to us in this: Move toward one another. In all things, love each other as you are but have a vision for what you could be. Pay attention to the vision God is casting for your marriage, your family, the community you live in. See one another according to the Spirit, not according to the flesh. Move toward one another and receive the other as they move toward you.

Instead of dreaming for big things in our future, I'm beginning to realize it's more important to dream awake right now. And so we wait. We move toward God because he first moved toward us, and we move toward one another in faith.

God does things differently. He said, Let there be light, but then he waited a full day before he spoke again. And on the last day, he rested. He built waiting into creation. From the incarnation to the resurrection, divine creativity begins and ends with waiting.

Consider the mystery of Christ in you. As soon as we ask for the how, we lose the wonder. The Spirit came over Mary in a moment, but it took nine months for him to grow. Jesus waited thirty years to begin what we call his earthly ministry. But really, wasn't he always being God in the world, from his first breath to his last? He was crucified and waited until day three to resurrect. Don't lose hope on day two.
Waiting paves the way for the art.

Sacred and secret things happen in the waiting. Moments of heaven touch earth, breathe life into babies inside their mamas and bread sitting on my counter. The work is invisible, but the result is not.

Show up in the place where you already are fully alive as the image bearer God made you to be. Embrace the mysterious, invisible work of Christ even when it seems like nothing is happening. You are an image bearer and you have a job to do--whether you see the results or whether you don't.

Lord, I'll close my eyes now...

"But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer."

~Psalm 38:15

 

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