Trial of faith

I feel like I am walking on the water towards Jesus, but finding myself sinking as I look at the winds as Peter did.

 

"“Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”"

~Matthew 14:28-33

 

Every time you venture out in the life of faith, you will find something in your common-sense circumstances that flatly contradicts your faith. Common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense; they stand in the relation of the natural and the spiritual. Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him? Can you venture heroically on Jesus Christ's statements when the facts of your common-sense life shout - "It's a lie?" On the mount it is easy to say - "Oh, yes, I believe God can do it"; but you have to come down into the demon-possessed valley and meet with facts that laugh ironically at the whole of your mount-of-transfiguration belief. Every time my programme of belief is clear to my own mind, I come across something that contradicts it. Let me say I believe God will supply all my need, and then let me run dry, with no outlook, and see whether I will go through the trial of faith, or whether I will sink back to something lower.

 

Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal possession only through conflict. What is your faith up against just now? The test will either prove that your faith is right, or it will kill it. "Blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in Me." The final thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and all you come up against will develop your faith. There is continual testing in the life of faith, and the last great test is death. May God keep us in fighting trim! Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us.

 

"And blessed is the one who is not offended by me."

~Matthew 11:6

 

"Run dry", with no outlook, even though that might be me right now, I am comforted by these words of Oswald Chambers about faith. I am glad that now more often than not I can discern when I am "sinking" and am able to quickly "adjust" my thinking. Will I believe God? I do. For I walk by faith, not by sight. Holy Spirit, may that be true in my life, always.

"For we walk by faith, not by sight."

~2 Corinthians 5:7

 

Lord, make my faith unutterable as I trust in You. Lord, save me! Truly You are the Son of God.

 

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Bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike... as Queen sings, I could relate. I was surprised with a new bicycle (Schwinn) to enjoy my morning cruising.

 

I am so excited to be able to spend my mornings riding in this beautiful place I am in, I had to "write" about it. What a blessing!

 

I call it "Morning Glory" and it comes with a promise:

 

"Then shall your light break forth like the morning,

and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life)

shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness

(your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God)

shall go before you [conducting you to peace and prosperity],

and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard."

~Isaiah 58:8 AMP

 

My dear Jesus, thank You for this cream and blue, Morning Glory. Oh, how I enjoy riding it, cruising through the streets of this peaceful place with You.

 

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What I learned

How little she had imagined, when first she set out on that strange journey, what lay ahead of her and the things which she would be called upon to pass through. So for a long time she sat silent - remembering, wondering and thankful.

At last she put her hand in His and said softly, "My Lord, I will tell You what I learned."

"Tell Me," He answered gently.

"First," said she, "I learned that I must accept with joy all that You allow to happen to me on the way and everything to which the path led me! That I was never to try to evade it but to accept it and lay down my own will on the altar and say, 'Behold me, I am Thy little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy.'"

He nodded without speaking, and she went on, "Then I learned that I must bear all that others were allowed to do against me and to forgive with no trace of bitterness and to say to Thee, 'Behold me - I am Thy little handmaiden Bearing-with-Love,' that I may receive power to bring good out of this evil."

Again He nodded, and she smiled still more sweetly and happily.

"The third thing that I learned was that You, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be when You had done what You promised and had brought me to the High Places, when it could be truly said, "There is none that walks with such a queenly ease, nor with such grace, as she.' You always treated me with the same love and graciousness as though I were a queen already and not wretched little Much-Afraid." Then she looked up into His face and for a little time could say no more, but at last she added, "My Lord, I cannot tell You how greatly I want to regard others in the same way."

A very lovely smile broke out on His face at that, but He still said nothing, only nodded for the third time and waited for her to continue.

"The fourth thing," said she with a radiant face," was really the first I learned up here. Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to Your will can be transformed.

"Therefore I begin to think, my Lord, You purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things that you want changed. Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may let You teach us how to react to them, that out of them we can create lovely qualities to live forever. That is the only really satisfactory way of dealing with evil, not simply binding it so it cannot work harm, but whenever possible overcoming it with good." (Hinds' Feet on High Places - Hannah Hurnard)

Lord Jesus, thank You that -

"Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning."

~Psalm 30:5

Thank You for the lessons I have learned with Grace and Glory as we journeyed together to the High Places. Little did I imagined...

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Grace and Glory

I already mentioned the Hinds' Feet for High Places book, which one of my faithful friends gave to me and I read while in Europe.

I took a journey with the main character Much-Afraid and her companions, Sorrow and Suffering, as she left her village of Much-Trembling in the Valley of Humiliation to the High Places. I could relate to her struggles with her relatives, the Fearings clan. I was saddened by the attacks of Pride and Bitterness and Resentment and Self-Pity, and of Craven Fear which she went through. I have gathered stones of remembrance with her. I experienced her unbroken union with The Shepherd. I was touched by His love. I was comforted by His guidance and the fulfillment of His promise to her, that when Love flowers in her heart she shall be loved again.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;

therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."

~Jeremiah 31:3

I witness her transformation from limping, crippled Much-Afraid into receiving a new name Grace and Glory with hinds' feet. As well as her companions, Joy (who had been Sorrow) and Peace (who had been Suffering).

 

"For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

The Lord gives grace and glory;

No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."

~Psalm 84:11 NASB

 

"The Lord God is my strength,

And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,

And makes me walk on my high places."

~Habakkuk 3:19 NASB

 

I, too, was transformed by this allegory.

Lord Jesus, the Chief Shepherd, thank You for helping me understand the hard places I experience. Thank You that You are at work in my life. Thank You for Your mercy. For Your grace and glory, favor and honor. For Your faithfulness. For Your everlasting love.

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Angel armies

They didn't sing it in church today. I did not listen to the radio. I don't know how it got in my "head"...

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side...

After listening to the song the lyrics came from, I realized how many truths are in it:

You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side 

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

~Chris Tomlin 

"When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

~2 Kings 6:15-17

 

I brought this "angel" from our trip:

 

  

I don't know what angels look like, but I know that God gave them charge over us to keep us in all our ways.

 

"For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways."

~Psalm 91:11

 

Lord, thank You that You hear me when I call, that You crush the enemy, that You go before me, that You stand behind me, that You are always by my side. Lord, You reign forever, You are my friend. My strength is in Your name, for You alone can save. Thank You for delivering me; whom shall I fear. Nothing formed against me shall stand; You hold the whole world in Your hands. You are faithful.

 

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But only such

Yesterday, again, I said something I shouldn't. Oh, how one sentence can change an atmosphere.

I have told and been told - "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it."

"Let no foul or polluting language,

nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk

[ever] come out of your mouth,

but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial

to the spiritual progress of others,

as is fitting to the need and the occasion,

that it may be a blessing and give grace

(God’s favor) to those who hear it."

~Ephesians 4:29 AMP

 

Lord, have mercy. Please forgive me. "Take control of what I say, O Lord,
and guard my lips." (Psalm 141:3 NLT)

 

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;

keep watch over the door of my lips!"

~Psalm 141:3

 

For "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." (Proverbs 18:21)

 

My daughter brought home this "kitty-cat" from our trip.

 

Lord, may it be a reminder to me to - watch what I say...only such...

 

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The Cross in prayer

We are too much given to thinking of the Cross as something we have to get through; we get through it only in order to get into it. The Cross stands for one thing only for us - a complete and entire and absolute identification with the Lord Jesus Christ, and there is nothing in which this identification is realized more than in prayer.

These words from My Utmost for His Highest started my devotional on a day after I was given this necklace. And somehow they make wearing it even more special. Every time I catch a glimpse of it or feel it, the words - complete and entire and absolute identification with the Lord Jesus Christ flood my mind. I am not sure if I know, realize the meaning completely, entirely and absolutely, but I know it's not me, but because of Jesus. They made me think of prayer.

Here are other words I read recently:

"Your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

~Matthew 6:8

 

Then why ask? The idea of prayer is not in order to get answers from God; prayer is perfect and complete oneness with God. If we pray because we want answers, we will get huffed with God. The answers come every time, but not always in the way we expect, and our spiritual huff shows a refusal to identify ourselves with our Lord in prayer. We are not here to prove God answers prayer; we are here to be living monuments of God's grace.

 

When prayer seems to be unanswered, beware of trying to fix the blame on someone else. That is always a snare of Satan. You will find there is a reason which is a deep instruction to you, not to anyone else.

 

Prayer is an effort of the will. The great battle in private prayer is the overcoming of mental wool-gathering. We have to discipline our minds and concentrate on willful prayer.

 

Jesus did not say - Dream about thy Father in secret, but pray to thy Father in secret. After we have entered our secret place and have shut the door, the most difficult thing to do is to pray; we cannot get our minds into working order, and the first thing that conflicts is wandering thoughts. A secret silence means to shut the door deliberately on emotions and remember God. When we live in the secret place it becomes impossible for us to doubt God, we become more sure of Him than of anything else.

 

Lord, may I live in the secret place. Jesus, thank You for the Cross. Thank You for showing me how much I am worth.

 

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Back to life

Back to life, back to reality...

Yes, I am back. I had a nice time in Europe. I was challenged by my daily devotional "My Utmost for His Highest" and family members and situations by which I got to put in practice 'Acceptance-with-Joy' and 'Bearing-in-Love', some of the things I learned from the journey I took with Much-Afraid to the High Places. (Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard)

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

 in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever."

~Psalm 23

 

Jesus, my Shepherd, thank You for leading me, for restoring me, for guiding me, for being with me, for comforting me, for filling me, for satisfying me.

 

PS: Here is the promised photo from Father's day:

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