The journey continues

My dear Jesus, thank You for all You do. I love You. Thank You for the journey. I am not the same person. Thank You for the gift of friends. Thank You for helping me overcome lies with truth. Thank You for opening the eyes of my heart.

My life is not my own.

I am here because of and for God.

I don't get to choose the scene of my own martyrdom.

My thoughts are not God's thoughts and my ways are not His ways.

Do not lean on your own understanding.

Don't let your well-being depend on your circumstances.

All your circumstances are in the hand of God, therefore never think it strange concerning the circumstances you are in.

Do not linger in the future, because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you wander there.

Remember the promise of God's continual presence.

He is able.

Jesus is Lord.

These are some of the things I lived out during my journey. I am leaving with my favorite song and my favorite Scripture.

Alleluia, alleluia for the Lord God Almighty reigns. Worthy is the Lamb, worthy is the Lamb.

"May He grant you out of the rich treasury of His glory to be strengthened and reinforced with mighty power in the inner man by the [Holy] Spirit [Himself indwelling your innermost being and personality].

May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love,
 

That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God’s devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it];
 

[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!
 

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]—
 

To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it)."

~Ephesians 3:16-21 AMP

The journey continues...

Till Jesus comes back...we move forward.

Thank you for CZECHING IN!

P40

Yes, it came. Today is my birthday. I am forty years old.  

 

It snowed today in a place where I grew up.
First snow of the season.  
 

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness" is the text from a present I got for my birthday. It is my son's prayer every night that "mama be happy".
The answer is LOVE. God is Love. Love is also what Jesus commands us to do in Mark 12.
So, today as I am celebrating I am also contemplating God's love for me and some words about love from Dr. James Richards.

Love is able to see wrong and still find the good. Love is able to see the weakness and point out the strength. Love is able to be offended by the sin, yet tenderly love the sinner. Love is able to listen patiently and preserve self-worth. 

Love cannot be explained; it can only be experienced. That experience starts when we commit ourselves to a life of love. A process begins that opens our hearts to receive love from both God and people. As we give love to others, we become able to receive love.

Love is not just an action; it is a dimension. When we enter this realm, we discover an entirely different world -- one that is not subject to the laws of the natural world. It is a realm wherein one can continually experience God, who is love (1 John 4:16). Faith becomes natural and understandable, for it works through love (Galatians 5:6). Fear has no power. All emotions are ruled by peace and confidence; there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18). It is the realm of the kingdom of God.

Now back to my birthday. I have a birthday wish. I wish I could touch the hem of His garment.

"For she said to herself, “If I only touch his garment, I will be made well.”"

~Matthew 9:21 

Lord Jesus, may I follow You wholeheartedly and may I walk in love. I am making a commitment to renew myself daily and to pursue love-life with all my heart. I love You!
 

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How great

How great is our God... Worthy of all our praise.

"I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,

and I am saved from my enemies."

~Psalm 18:3

 

Here is my "final" recount, my "thankful" list.

Lord, I want to thank You that at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Thank You Jesus for being the ultimate sacrifice, reconciling us to the Father, forgiving us, making us clean and holy.

Thank You that the whole earth is full of Your glory.

Thank You that You rain in abundance. Thank You for Your grace.

Thank You that You fulfill Your purpose for me.

Thank You for the heavens and the e-ART-h.

Thank You for music.

Thank You for choosing a man for me and for joining us for seventeen years now.

Thank You for falling afresh on us.

Thank You that through Jesus we are able to walk by faith.

Thank You that You give me rest.

Thank You for Your Spirit that leads me.

Thank You for loving me, for saving me; what a glorious day!

Thank You for making us a poured-out wine.

Thank You for helping our hearts take courage.

Thank You for another kind of love; one that makes us better -- Your love.

Thank You for giving us victory through Jesus.

Thank You that we don't have to worry; that everything will be alright.

Thank You for overcoming the world so we could do the same.

Thank You for giving us mercy and grace; for Your help.

Thank You for being with me; I'll praise You in this storm.

Thank You that when a desire is fulfilled it is a tree of life.

Thank You for A Million Little Ways.

Thank You that we were made in Your image.

Thank You for helping me see.

Thank You that instead of sinking into worry and self-help I can sink into You.

Thank You for the sacred and secret things that happen in the waiting.

Thank You for the remaining journey; for helping me to see things differently.

Thank You that I can be hopeful, though it is painful, that I can be peaceful, though it's not easy, while I'm waiting.

Thank You that we live and move and have our being in You.

Thank You for my P40 journey and to all who had taken it with me.

Thank You for all that You taught me and the continuing of my walk with You.

And I have to include one of my favorite songs:

 

How great is our God – sing with me
How great is our God – and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
You're worthy of all praise
And my heart will sing
How great is our God

 

Thank You, Father. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Holy Spirit. Lord, You are worthy of all our praise. You are GREAT! May we sing, may we see.

 

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In Him

As my P40 journey is nearing the end, the journey is not over. I need to remember not to get discouraged in living and releasing my art; not thinking that I am wasting my time; resist the urge to disrespect a task because it doesn’t feel important; not to resist living within my ordinary days; and to become more fully myself for the glory of God. The following words of Emily Freeman are sadly so familiar to me but are here to help me remember. 

Here are eight statements we say to ourselves that may be keeping us from living and releasing our art:

1. I'm not cut out for this.
2. Someone else can do it better.
3. People might not like it.
4. I have nothing to offer.
5. I hate my calling.
6. It's a waste of time.
7. It's too much work.
8. Who do you think you are?

You know there is an art alive within you and the work you do to uncover it is not a waste of time. You are an image bearer and that is not about you becoming famous or important or promoted but about you becoming more fully yourself for the glory of God.

You may not be the first to say it, write it, create it, or believe it--but you saying it may be the first time someone finally hears.

Pay attention to when you use the word just. Because whatever comes after that word is usually where you’re allowing the art to die.

When we resist living within our ordinary days, we are in danger of losing a sense of ourselves. We don't need to walk away from our routines and daily rhythms to find something more interesting. More often we need to wake up to them.

Lord, may we live like artists rather than technicians, admitting that we are not in control, we may not have the answers, and our lives no longer belong to us. May we show up this day the same way we did the day we were born, with empty hands and an instinct to depend on someone bigger than ourselves. From now till the end.

"In him we live and move and have our being."

~Acts 17:28a

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While I'm waiting

 

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

~John Waller

 

Lord, not without Your help. I cannot do it. Help me to serve You, to worship You while I'm waiting. May I wait on You.

"And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you,

but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways,

to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart

and with all your soul."

~Deuteronomy 10:12

 

"Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;

bring an offering and come before him!

Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness."

~1 Chronicles 16:29

 

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."

~Psalm 37:7a

 

I am waiting, I am hopeful, though it is painful, I am peaceful, though it's not easy. Faithfully I will wait.

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Only five

There are five days left till my birthday, till the end of my P40 journey. Till beginning of exploring with abandon those things that make me come alive; pursuing "first" things; learning to see beyond what is to what could be; receiving grace and seeing things differently to name a few...

Lord, help me to do that.

Explore with abandon those things that make you come alive. If your flesh begins to put the art ahead of the Artist, disappointment will bring you back around again. If you begin to pursue lesser, secondary things, you need not fret so much about it. Trust that your clenching of second things will never fully satisfy.
Let disappointment do its deep work--remind you that your true desire is found, not in God's ways or God's will or God's blessings, but in God himself.

The Great Artist--the Maker of stars and straw and soil--was not supposed to be a carpenter. He was supposed to be a king. To reign strong, not sweat blood. To be served, not be a servant. To live long, not die a criminal. If we stopped there, with his death, the story would be unjust and unfair--and unfinished. And that is precisely the point.
Perhaps living into the fullness of who you really are is partially about learning to see beyond what is to what could be. Could it be there is more to the story that we don't know yet? It doesn't mean that God is trying to teach us a lesson in our difficulty. Perhaps he is simply creating a masterpiece.
God made the world, we messed it up, and then he came down to make it right again. He isn't a principal, he's an artist. He doesn't condemn, he creates. But sometimes we stop too soon. And when we do, things seem unjust. Perhaps they are simply unfinished. When the world tries to change you with its painful, cutting ways, instead embrace the story, receive grace, turn around, and change the world by deciding to see things differently.
(Emily Freeman)

You are better than you think you are. You are a far greater benefit than you think you are. You have not failed. For, I am with you and I am guiding you. You are a blessed one. You are a royal diadem. You are a jewel in My hand. So, you've been through the fire, but the fire is that which makes the jewel strong; it brings forth the beauty of that stone; it releases the power of My kingdom. So, change your mind today. Do not believe what has been spoken of you by others or by the evil one, or even by your own reckoning. Believe in this moment that I know you. I have not forgotten you. You belong to Me, and I belong to you. So, change your countenance and become happy in My kingdom--full of joy, full of blessing, full of that which I have put in you. (Bill Burns)

"You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,

and a royal diadem in the hand of your God."

~Isaiah 62:3

 

"For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship),

recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew]

that we may do those good works which God predestined

(planned beforehand) for us

[taking paths which He prepared ahead of time],

that we should walk in them

[living the good life which He prearranged

and made ready for us to live]. "

~Ephesians 2:10 AMP

Father, thank You for Your promises. For making us a royal diadem in Your hand. For creating a masterpiece with our lives. Thank You for that which You have put in us. Thank You for Jesus.

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Waiting

You are the beloved. So be the loved. Receive your belovedness and then hand it out, receive grace and be gracious to others, remember your image-bearing identity and move into the world with a job to do. Show up as you are with what you've been given. And don't allow the voice of doubt and discouragement to hold you back.
But doubt and discouragement aren't our only hindrances to showing up in the world. It is possible for us to uncover the art we were born to make and show up to release it into the world only to be met with silence, inability to make progress, and a seemingly impossible artless road ahead. The lack of movement isn't because of fear or sin or lack of belief. Sometimes it's simply God asking us to wait.

These are Emily's words preceding the most crucial, most touching, most difficult chapter for me in her book, perhaps the reason why I was to read this book.

Yes, I too feel like I am in a period of waiting and that is why these words were most helpful.

You are in a season of waiting. When you finally show up ready to release your art by being the person you believe you are created to be, there may be nothing more disheartening than to be asked to wait. The waiting can drive us mad if we let it. It can become a merciless dictator, shoving us into shapes we aren't made for, shapes of worry and doubt and short tempers.
But the waiting can also grow us, shape us from the inside out for sacred work. This is a kind of work that happens only in the secret place of abiding in the presence of Christ even in the midst of broken dreams and tired circumstances.
We have a Maker who doesn't just throw the sun up into the sky in a shock of fire, but pulls it up slow every morning and down the same way every night. And if you stare as it happens, the change is hard to see, but if you close your eyes and count to twenty, everything is different when you open them back up again. It's because a lot happens in the transition--secret things, beautiful things, Spirit-led things.
There is still movement in this waiting, though it may be hard to see.

Emily shares two things that God said to her and her husband while they're waiting.

Move toward God. In all things, see Jesus. In all circumstances, whether success or failure, questions or answers, beauty or ashes, acceptance or rejection, look for Jesus. Stop trying so hard to read the Scriptures to look for answers but instead, let the Scriptures read you. Move toward God.
The second thing we sense God is saying to us in this: Move toward one another. In all things, love each other as you are but have a vision for what you could be. Pay attention to the vision God is casting for your marriage, your family, the community you live in. See one another according to the Spirit, not according to the flesh. Move toward one another and receive the other as they move toward you.

Instead of dreaming for big things in our future, I'm beginning to realize it's more important to dream awake right now. And so we wait. We move toward God because he first moved toward us, and we move toward one another in faith.

God does things differently. He said, Let there be light, but then he waited a full day before he spoke again. And on the last day, he rested. He built waiting into creation. From the incarnation to the resurrection, divine creativity begins and ends with waiting.

Consider the mystery of Christ in you. As soon as we ask for the how, we lose the wonder. The Spirit came over Mary in a moment, but it took nine months for him to grow. Jesus waited thirty years to begin what we call his earthly ministry. But really, wasn't he always being God in the world, from his first breath to his last? He was crucified and waited until day three to resurrect. Don't lose hope on day two.
Waiting paves the way for the art.

Sacred and secret things happen in the waiting. Moments of heaven touch earth, breathe life into babies inside their mamas and bread sitting on my counter. The work is invisible, but the result is not.

Show up in the place where you already are fully alive as the image bearer God made you to be. Embrace the mysterious, invisible work of Christ even when it seems like nothing is happening. You are an image bearer and you have a job to do--whether you see the results or whether you don't.

Lord, I'll close my eyes now...

"But for you, O Lord, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer."

~Psalm 38:15

 

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Sinking

And yet more of Emily's words from her book that I needed.

There is a difference between embracing your smallness in the presence of Christ and feeling like a nobody in the presence of others.

You don't have what it takes.
And neither do I. The upside-down mystery of God is that you can still be a miracle gift even when you have no idea where your giftedness comes from, even when all you can bear to do is know you are loved and live like it's true. You are art and you make art, but you are not your art. You are God's art. As you continue to embrace the Spirit of Christ in you, as you continue to bend your ear toward the deep desire of your heart, trust that God is intuitive enough to move in and through you no matter your fear and insecurity.

There is a time to sink into the depths, to see the hopelessness of my life without God. Sink, fail and know God, because the invisible world of heaven doesn't play by our rules. And so as Peter, I have to first know the depths of my own ugliness before I will be willing to stay my gaze on Christ. If I think, even for a moment, that I can handle these waves on my own, I will drop down heavy into the darkness of the water.
Believe in myself and I sink into the waves of worry, procrastination, daily tasks, and diagnoses. There is no dry ground in sight.
But sink hard into God and he will buoy the soul on top of the water.
Stepping out of the boat and walking toward Jesus, I realize how looking deep into the eyes of God is art all by itself. Dying is our invitation to live.
Down is the only way up.

 

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

(Matt. 14:29-31)

Sink into the depths of God, knowing he created the world and re-creates you. And from that re-creation of you comes co-creation with Christ. You cannot do anything on your own.

Lord, there is a difference between embracing my smallness in the Your presence and feeling like a nobody in the presence of others. May I see the hopelessness of my life without You. Father, help me embrace the Spirit of Christ in me, as I continue to bend my ear toward the deep desire of my heart, trust that You are intuitive enough to move in and through me no matter my fear and insecurity. May I keep my gaze on Christ, not believing myself, but sinking hard into God.

I look hard at the place where I stand and realize it isn't the kind of certainty I expected. I'm looking for dry ground, but God gives me water and tells me to sink. But this is not a sinking into worry and self-help. This is a sacred sinking into knowing he is God.

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Seeing

Very interesting chapter for me in Emily's book was about criticism. Seeing the real reason critique hurts and the gift only a critic can bring. As I agree that criticism is key in a life of an artist and experienced first hand how the voice of the inner critic can allow the art to die.

Criticism is key in the artist's life. How we handle our critics could be the difference between creating art that matters and allowing the art to die.

We are only offended because we forget we have died.
If there's one thing certain to change your life, it's death.
"For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God."
(Col. 3:3)
We live false lives when we hold on to the old life and refuse to acknowledge our death. If we grasp the threads of our comfortable lives, second things--like praise from critics--become first things.

The critical voice is teaching me my humanity, and that is not a bad thing.
There, in the clenched hand of the critic is a gift he may not realize he's giving you, one you don't recognize at first. But there it is, gift of your own smallness, your own Yes, I am a mess. Yes, I want your approval and agreement. Yes, I want to be loved and admired. Yes, I want to be right. The critic's words point out my insecurities--but in seeing those, he shows me myself.

When I finally see myself, I can be laid open before God. In the opening, I see the root of this desire for approval is less about the critic and more about me. I showed up on the scene of the world crying and clenching and needing salvation. So did you. So did your critic. But it isn't the critic's fault I am desperate for worth and security and approval and permission.
This is the shape I was born into, the curve of my flesh, the crookedness of my own heart, the twisted desire to be enough on my own and by myself.

Christ stretched out arms on the cross, wide open to the words and attacks of the critic, wide open to my sin-desire to be my own little god, wide open to receive the insults and the insulted, the sin of the offense and the sin of my defensiveness.
He was stretched out so I could be free.
Crooked is no longer my shape.
And so if I have died with Christ and been raised to life in him, how can I die again at the hands of the critic? What have I to fear if death is no longer a risk?

Fear drives out the love. When you work from fear, there is no love in your work. And we don't want your loveless art.
So give the world and yourself a gift, and stop.
You are the beloved. So take some time to be the loved.
The fact that you need time to be the loved means you are human. And we want art that comes from human hands inspired by a capable God. Otherwise you will make mediocre art at best.
If mediocre art is your goal, here are fourteen ways to achieve it:

• Make love to fear
• Apologize a lot
• Try to measure your impact
• Wait to feel qualified
• Compare yourself
• Fear the success of others
• Stay comfortable
• Have imaginary conversation with your critics
• Hold on to regret
• Keep impossible standards for perfection
• Demand appreciation
• Be easily offended
• Think there is only one right way to do it
• And by all means, don't take a risk

How we respond when confronted with the critics has the potential to be the most beautiful art we'll ever make--we have the capacity to reflect the relational glory of God no matter who we're with, what we're doing, or what's gone wrong. This is when art is a verb rather than a noun. It isn't something you point to, it's a way you live.

Jesus, may I always be an image bearer with a job to do. And not become a job doer with an image to maintain. Help me see myself, no longer crooked, but reflecting the glory of God no matter who I am with, what I am doing, or what's going wrong. May that be my way of life.

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In the image

 "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."

~Genesis 1:1

 

Here is more of Emily's words and what I am taking away.

 

The first thing we know about God is he made art.

What is the first thing we know about people?

We were made in the image of God.

We have a job to do.

 

"So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

And God blessed them. And God said to them,

“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it,

and have dominion over the fish of the sea

and over the birds of the heavens

and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”"

~Genesis 1:27,28

 

The first thing we know...how profound, going back to the beginning. But the realization really helped me. 

 

 

 

Being an image bearer is about reflecting God as human, not about becoming a god myself.

 

I realized that I cannot trade my identity as Adam and Eve because it messes up my work. The enemy challenged their identity. Bearing God's image no longer seemed to be enough. They didn't just want to reflect glory, they wanted to have glory of their own.

 

Christ came to reestablish our identity, showing us what it means to be fully alive as a human--how to live on earth as we were intended to live--a life of complete dependence on the Father.

 

I was reminded that--Not having what it takes is not a liability, it's a prerequisite.

We are made in the image of God and are being remade inside the person of Jesus Christ. He holds all things together even when it looks like they're falling apart. His grace fills in my lack.

 

You were made to make art.

You were also made to live art.

Art means believing that the God who created the world with words alone creates with words still, through us--whether it be on a stage to thousands or in a corner with one.

Art is what happens when you dare to be who you really are.

 

 

"“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,

and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us)."

~Matthew 1:23

 

Like Emily, I don't believe there is one great thing I was made to do in this world. I believe there is one great God I was made to glorify. And there will be many ways, even a million little ways, I will declare his glory with my life.

Bearing the image of God, being who He made me, being fully alive instead of feeling like I am "dying on the vine" is what this book is giving me the courage to do. I am learning to be fully alive in the present.
  

Jesus, thank You for living inside me, may I partner with You, may God be glorified through the life You are living on the inside of me and may it be manifested in "a million little ways".

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A million little ways

A million little ways is a title of a new book I read by Emily Freeman.

 

"I have been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Sonof God,

who loved me and gave himself for me."

~Galatians 2:20

 

Emily reminded me that: "God does not manage us, to-do list us, or bullet-point us. He loves us. Is with us. And believing him feels impossible, until we do, like a miracle, like lukewarm water turning merlot red right there in the cup. And hope sprouts new, because God doesn't give us a list. He invites us into the story.

God is not a technician. God is an Artist.

This is the God who made you. The same God who lives inside you.
He comes into us, then comes out of us, in a million little ways.
That's why there's freedom, even in the blah.
Hope, even in the dark.
Love, even in the fear.
Trust, even as we face our critics.
And believing in the midst of all that? It feels like strength and depth and wildflower spinning; it feels risky and brave and underdog winning.
It feels like redemption.
It feels like art."

"Creating a life of meaning is not about finding that one great thing you were made to do, it's about knowing the one great God you were made to glorify - in a million little ways."

I have always wanted to be an artist and now I know that I am. I am eternally grateful to Emily for helping me see that.

I also thank my dearest friend for thinking of me as she read Emily's post on the word "Just" and for sending it to me because she knows how I feel about that word. Hence introducing me to this book.

Not only to Emily for being able to silence the inner critic and living her art through the pages of this book; not only to Shawna for caring and sharing; but most of all, the biggest credit goes to God for arranging time and places for all this. For making me ready to read and receive it, for all I am going through and how He knew that I am the "one" person that needed to read it just now.

Thank you Lord!

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Challenge

Even though I know that everything will be alright, because I trust God with my future and my life. Even though I know that I can and will overcome all that He allowed, all I am facing. Even though I know that He is with me, to help me. Even though I am thankful and praising God, able to lift up my hands "in this storm", everyday seems to be a challenge to live in the present, not wishing things to be different, hoping that things can change.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life."

~Proverbs 13:12

 

That's how mine feels.

Lord, please help my heart. As Your Word says in Psalms, may it be true for me too.

 

"O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me."

~Psalm 30:2

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Praise You in this storm

 

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

~Casting Crowns

 

I was sure by now God You would have reached down, stepped in and saved the day...

 

You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I cry You hold in Your hand, You never leave my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

 

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

blessed be the name of the Lord."

~Job 1:21b

 

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Help

Where does my help come from?

"My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." ~Psalm 121:2

That's why I am turning to You. I cry to You, Lord.

 

"In my distress I called upon the Lord;

to my God I cried for help.

From his temple he heard my voice,

and my cry to him reached his ears."

~Psalm 18:6

 

"But you, O Lord, do not be far off!

O you my help, come quickly to my aid!"

~Psalm 22:19

 

"Our soul waits for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield."

~Psalm 33:20

 

"Rise up; come to our help!

Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!

~Psalm 44:26

 

"God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.'

~Psalm 46:1

 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed,

for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

~Isaiah 41:10

 

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,

that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

~Hebrews 4:16

Father, I am drawing near to the throne of grace, that I may receive mercy and find grace to help now. Lord, help me! If you don't Lord, who will?

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Overcome

Perhaps it was my wishfull thinking that made me "see" this song today. Wishing I too, can overcome what I am facing right now.

 

Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only Son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did

All authority
Every victory is Yours
All authority
Every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

~Jeremy Camp

 

"And they have overcome (conquered) him by means

of the blood of the Lamb and by the utterance of their testimony,

for they did not love and cling to life even when faced with death

[holding their lives cheap till they had to die for their witnessing]."

~Revelation 12:11 AMP

 

Listening to the words I gained confidence and renewed my mind to the truth.

 

Jesus, You were seated above, enthroned in Your Father's love; destined to die, poured out for all mankind; God's only Son, perfect and spotless one; You never sinned but suffered as if You did.

 

Savior, worthy of honor and glory; worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever; awesome and great is Your name, You overcame.

 

Looking into the Word I was comforted that...We will overcome. I will overcome. Because Jesus did. So can I. He lives in me.

 

"I have said these things to you,

that in me you may have peace.

In the world you will have tribulation.

But take heart; I have overcome the world.”"

~John 16:33

 

Lord, may I "take heart", may I have peace, You have overcome the world. May I not look to my situation, but to You.

 

"The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness has not overcome it."

~John 1:5

 

Your light is brighter and it cannot be overcome. Jesus, may I overcome evil with good.

 

"Do not be overcome by evil,

but overcome evil with good."

~Romans 12:21

 

Father, thank You for our faith. We will overcome...

 

"For everyone who has been born of God

overcomes the world. And this is the victory

that has overcome the world—our faith."

~1 John 5:4

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Everything will be alright

It is amazing how many quotes and songs I hear that are not about God, but made me think of Him.

Again, there was another quote I heard in a movie that I keep thinking about.

"Everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright then it's not yet the end."

Who doesn't like to hear that everything is going to be alright.

As Bob Marley sings "Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Don't worry, be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

As with the movie quote, same with this song, when relating to God, it does not offer false hope. Even though it's not always easy to do, we don't have to worry, we can be happy, knowing that God is in control. He's got it!

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"

~Matthew 6:25-27

In light of God, everything will be alright in the end. It's something that comforts me now and is true. Even we are alright. We were made right. We are right in light of God. May that make us happy now.

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin,

so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

~2 Corinthians 5:21

Lord, help me to renew my mind to that. I am made right, righteous. Thank You!

Oh, if everything could be alright. But it's not. I guess it's not the end.

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1 year

Today, I reflect on a day, very special to me that happen a year ago.

One woman, my dearest friend, encouraged me to attend a "meeting". She offered herself, her time, her home and her friend. It was designed especially for me. The results of it were life changing. I keep writing about this "inner healing". It was then, when I experienced more freedom and more intimacy with Jesus. I was forever changed and will forever be grateful.

Jesus, it's been that day when for the first time I saw You standing next to me. When I walked with You, even though I have known You for years.

Lord, I am so thankful for You arranging time and places and for having Your daughters help and invest in and love each other. 

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory

through our Lord Jesus Christ."

~1 Corinthians 15:57

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Another kind of love

I saw a movie inspired by a Nicolas Sparks novel and I liked one of the lines about love. 

There is another kind of love, one that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are, one that makes you feel that anything is possible.

It made me think of God. How His love changed me, gave me courage to be better, made me believe, made me feel that anything is possible. It also reminded me of another Sparks' novel that was made into a movie that has my favorite quote in it.

"I am no one special; just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who've ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and for me, that has always been enough."

It makes me go, ohhhh, that a man would say that. It is what God commands also.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart

and with all your soul and with all your strength

and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."

~Luke 10:27

 

The challenge is the "and for me, that has always been enough" part. Really knowing God, "tasting" that He is good and that being completely enough in every moment of every day. His love is enough. And if we feel like it isn't, we don't know Him completely yet, I think.

Lord, may I really know You. Your love is enough.

 

I think of Paul and how God's love changed him. And as the character in a movie confessed his love for his love, I marvel at what Paul confessed as a man, as a male. He knew God and was able to say:

 

"I have been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live,

but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh

I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave himself for me."

~Galatians 2:20

 

The same goes for Abraham, Moses, David, etc.

Lots of songs were written about that kind of love. Like the following words, courtesy of Celine Dion. It makes me think of God also.

For all those times You stood by me
For all the truth that You made me see
For all the joy You brought to my life
For all the wrong that You made right
For every dream You made come true
For all the love I found in You
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith because You believed
I'm everything I am
Because You loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, You gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had Your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day You gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by You

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining Your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies You were the truth
My world is a better place because of You

I'm everything I am
Because You loved me

Jesus, I'm everything I am because You love me. Thank You for Your love.

 

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Courage

I keep thinking about my previous post and how I wrote that I get discouraged. At one point as the word passed through my mind, I realized that "discouraged" has "courage" in it. Courage has a special meaning for me as it came up during my inner healing; what Jesus thinks of me. One of it's definition on dictionary.com is - the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear. From that definition it would appear that it depends on my mind, whether I will be courageous or not. And the Bible seems to tell that courage is for the taking, as it commends to "take courage".

"Wait for the Lord; be strong,

and let your heart take courage;

wait for the Lord!"

~Psalm 27:14

I also looked up the dreaded "discourage". And here are the words that came up: deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dispirit; dishearten - to depress the hope, courage - to make sad or gloomy; lower in spirits; to lower in force, vigor, activity; weaken; make dull; to lower in amount or value; to put in a lower position.

All of which I don't want but could relate to. No wonder I feel awful. 
 

Today I read in my daily devotional that it was said of Jesus - "He shall not fail nor be discouraged," because He never worked from His own individual standpoint but always from the standpoint of His Father, and we have to learn to do the same.

 

And one more word came up - encourage. Which means to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence; to stimulate by assistance, approval; to promote, advance, or foster. All of which I would gladly receive.
 

"May the God of endurance and encouragement
grant you to live in such harmony with one another,

in accord with Christ Jesus."

~Romans 15:5

 

And wouldn't you know it, tomorrows devotional title is "Individual discouragement and personal enlargement", which I could not resist reading today.

 

Moses saw the oppression of his people and felt certain that he was the one to deliver them, and in the righteous indignation of his own spirit he started to right their wrongs. After the first strike for God and for the right, God allowed Moses to be driven into blank discouragement, He sent him into the desert to feed sheep for forty years. At the end of that time, God appeared and told Moses to go and bring forth His people, and Moses said- "Who am I, that I should go?" In the beginning Moses realized that he was the man to deliver the people, but he had to be trained and disciplined by God first. He was right in the individual aspect, but he was not the man for the work until he had learned communion with God.

 

We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and we start to do the thing, then comes something equivalent to the forty years in the wilderness, as if God had ignored the whole thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged God comes back and revives the call, and we get the quaver in and say - "Oh, who am I?" We have to learn the first great stride of God - "I AM THAT I AM hath sent thee." We have to learn that our individual effort for God is an impertinence; our individuality is to be rendered incandescent by a personal relationship to God (see Matthew 3:17). We fix on the individual aspect of things; we have the vision - "This is what God wants me to do"; but we have not got into God's stride. If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a big personal enlargement ahead. (My Utmost for His Highest - O. Chambers)

 

When I think of courage, I don't feel it's me - courageous. But I can choose to set my mind and let Jesus enable me to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear, because of His love for me.

 

"There is no fear in love,

but perfect love casts out fear.

For fear has to do with punishment,

and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

~1 John 4:18

 

Father, help me to never work from my own individual standpoint but always from Yours. Jesus, may we encourage one another and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Lord, help me to take courage, to be strong and courageous.

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