I have

I have a choice.

I was already pretty low and then on Friday my fragile heart broke. The unfortunate, tragic loss I experienced magnified my problems and issues and brought even more sadness, more trouble, more desperation.

I could not bear it. It was too heavy.

I could let it take me out, "take over" and bring me down. I could choose to not think about it, as my precious daughter suggested. Or I could choose to consider what Jesus said.

"...Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."

~John 14:27

He was talking to His disciples about His coming torture, his death, and, following that, his departure from them. On a scale of personal crises, this was a ten. Yet He said, "don’t let your hearts be troubled.”

I have a choice? I can choose to not let my heart be troubled?

I can choose to not let my heart be troubled, because Jesus tells me to. Because it is no longer my life. My life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3) For He knows the plans He Has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). For He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).

There is no valley, there is no darkness, there is no sorrow, greater than the grace of Jesus; there is no moment, there is no distance, there is no heartache He can't take me through. I choose to remember that there is nothing greater than grace.
 
I choose to believe that God is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). I choose to let Him mend my broken heart. I choose to not lose hope, to not let go, to not give up because I am not alone.

Today, by Your grace I am able to choose. I choose to trust You, Lord. I trust You, even though I don't understand, even though I would have it an other way and would not want this and don't think it is good, I choose to trust You. Trust Your Word as I pray, as it says that ALL things work together for good... (Romans 8:28) 

Lord, I choose to trust You, I choose You, so that the world may know that I LOVE YOU.

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There is

There is nothing greater than grace...

 

"...it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace..."

~Hebrews 13:9

 

Thank you, Sue! Thank You, Jesus!

 

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Enough

Lord, You are enough.

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply, my breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward, worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

And all of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King, You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

And all I have in You
And all I have in You
And all I have in You is more than enough

All of You is more than enough for all of me

~Not complete lyrics

 "...Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us."
~John 14:8

You are enough for me.

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A place for you

These are words that I received today from my beloved, dearest friend. They are from (in)courage post by Bonnie Gray called Walking The Little Girl In You Out Into The World (words in italics). They are beautiful. I needed to hear them today. The only thing I would like to change is, the title to: Walking The Little Boy In You Out Into The World; and replace the little girl with the little boy and all the she, her to he, his, him, and to pretend that a man wrote it, if you don't mind, so my husband could read it and receive it today.

These words are here today for you, my love...

I’m trying to type words onto the screen. But, there is only blank space staring back at me. If you’ve ever experienced anxiety — the kind that wraps around your heart with the cloak of stress — you’d understand how it can tether you back. It keeps you silent. Keeps you in your home. And on the hours or days you need to be with others, you may end up retreating from being seen. Or heard. You are working hard. You are getting things done. But, you might feel like I do, unsure if things can really be different. Whether you can really be known. This is soul wearying.

A Place For You

Because you may have been hurt, like I’ve been — by words that wound you still — that made you regret that you shared. Words that made you feel even smaller than how you’re already feeling. Words that make you feel pressured to get over what you can’t get over. Words that make you feel more alone, standing on the outside of where you want to be: belonging, loved and understood. It’s then, at that moment, you and I chance upon a glimpse into our soul. To the little girl/little boy inside us who is broken, feeling cast off and lonely. It’s hard for me to whisper to her/him, as I really long to – I see you. And I won’t put you to the side anymore. Because Jesus is bringing you closer to me – I’m learning to make a place for you in this world. Jesus has a way of slipping in his love notes, to reach that little girl/little boy in me. Just this morning, as I listened to some piano music streaming from Pandora, the words He shared with His disciples those last hours floated its way to me:
 

"Don’t be troubled. You trust God, now trust in me.
There are many rooms in my Father’s home,
and I am going to prepare a place for you.
…so that you will always be with me where I am."
John 14:1-2b

 

A place for me. Just for me. With me. Always.

I’ve always read these words, as words for the future, when I’ll be able to look into the eyes of Jesus and finally lean into the sigh of His arms embracing me. But, this morning as I heard them, I felt the still, quiet whisper of Jesus speaking to the little girl/little boy in me. There is a place here and now that Jesus has been preparing for the little girl/little boy in me. That place is my heart, where Jesus has been doing deep, healing work — to accept her/him as she/he is. To let her/him know, there is a place in this world for her/him. Because Jesus understands her/him. Because Jesus loves her/him. As is.

Make Some Space

His words to her/him now, in this very moment is – You will always be with me where I am. You will always have a place with me. In you. So, even though we are all grown up and capable — carrying the load of daily chores, caring for others, so they don’t have to feel the strain we’ve had to endure — will we dare to ask ourselves: Can I make some space for that little girl/little boy in me? To begin a journey to walk out into the world? To share her/his voice. And even if she/he should be rejected — which you and I know she/he will — we can remind her/him that Jesus loves her/him. And that, even so, we can try to find a friend. Maybe two. Encourage her/him to believe — there is a place for her/him in this world. Comfort her/him when she/he cries and doesn’t believe. Be patient. Show her/him kindness. Don’t give up on her/him. On that little girl/little boy in you. And in me.

Love’s Imprint

Faith after all, just can’t possibly be journeyed alone. Even if everything tells us it can’t be possible. We can learn to offer each other the kindness of Jesus and moments of safety. These small moments may be few, but they are enough. Because love’s imprint can never be erased. And it speaks to us through the words we share here. This place in our hearts Jesus has made. Just for us.

 

"And this hope will not lead to dissapointment.

For we know how dearly God loves us,

because he has given us the Holy Spirit

to fill our hearts with his love."

Romans 5:5

 

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Pondering

Pondering the Word about my Jesus and remembering my sweet Annie today...

"He is radiance of the glory of God
and the exact imprint of his nature,
and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.
After making purification for sins,
he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,
having become as much superior to angels
as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs."
~Hebrews 1:3-4

"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they existed and were created."

~Revelation 4:11

 

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Encouragement from FF

Lord, how grateful I am for my Faithful Five women and their encouraging words this week:

Listen and be still. The Lord has so much to say if we would just be still in His presence. Listen in new ways. Find new ways of being still before the Lord. Wait in expectation. He is the God who sees you. He knows your needs before you ask Him. Let Him lead you beside still waters. Let His peace flood your soul. Let your soul drink deeply from His Living Water. Rest. No struggling, no striving, just relax into His embrace.

"I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord

and put their trust in Him."

~Psalm 40:1-3

Since God lifted you up out of the slimy pit of hell in which you were destined, how much more can he lift you out of in this present life? He can triumph over any adversity this world brings upon you because he has already won the most important battle of all.

"For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem;

you shall weep no more.

He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry.

As soon as he hears it, he answers you."

~Isaiah 30:19

Make Me your focal point as you move through this day. Just as a spinning ballerina must keep returning her eyes to a given point to maintain her balance, so you must keep returning your focus to Me. Circumstances are in flux, and the world seems to be whirling around you. The only way to keep your balance is to fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. If you gaze too long at your circumstances, you will become dizzy and confused. Look to Me, refreshing yourself in My Presence, and your steps will be steady and sure.

"...looking to Jesus,

the founder and perfecter of our faith,

who for the joy that was set before him

endured the cross, despising the shame,

and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

~Hebrews 12:2

"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely,

and may your whole spirit and body be kept blameless

at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."

~1Thessalonians 5:23,24

 

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As though they are

I was reminded of this Word through a Daily Grace Inspirations (words in italics) which my faithful, beloved friend had sent me. It was the same Word God spoke to me last fall and which I shared with her. Call those things which are not as though they are. But I stopped doing it.

I know why. It made me feel like I was delusional. But I know the things of God, the way of God are so different from the worlds. I can't look to the world to understand and experience the Kingdom of God.

"...God, who gives life to the dead
and calls those things
which do not exist
as though they did;"
~Romans 4:17

"God’s way is to call those things that are not as though they are. And because you are made in God’s image, you can also call those things that are not as though they are!" 

What follows this verse is one of my favorite passages in the Bible; words that I admire Abraham for and hope to live them out as well: 

"[For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, 

hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations,

as he had been promised, 

So [numberless] shall your descendants be.

He did not weaken in faith

when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body,

which was as good as dead 

because he was about a hundred years old,

or [when he considered]

the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb.

No unbelief or distrust made him waver 

(doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, 

but he grew strong and was empowered by faith 

as he gave praise and glory to God,

Fully satisfied and assured that 

God was able and mighty 

to keep His word  

and to do what He had promised."

~Romans 4:18-21 AMP

Lord, as You had changed Abrams name to Abraham "Father of Many Nations"; every time his name was called that promise was called forth. Same with Jesus. "He didn’t see the way it was in the natural. He saw the way God meant it to be and He called it forth." Father, I ask that I too, would be able to call forth things, promises You gave. May I hope in faith. May I not weaken in faith when I consider my circumstances. Let no unbelief or distrust make me waver, doubtingly question Your promises. But may I grow strong and be empowered by faith as I give praise and glory to You, oh God. May I be fully satisfied and assured that You are able and mighty to keep Your word and to do what You had promised.

"Genesis 1 tells us that in the beginning, there was darkness over the face of the whole earth. God saw the darkness and He said, “Light be!” And light was. God called forth what He wanted and it became so! If it had been me or you, we would probably have said, “Whoa! It is so dark!”"

"It is pointless to state the obvious. So change the way you talk. See the way God meant it to be, and start calling forth your healing and wholeness!"

Call it forth!

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Come as you are

He's not mad at you
And He's not disappointed
His grace is greater still 

Than all of your wrong choices

He is full of mercy 

And He is ever kind
Hear His invitation

 His arms are open wide

You can come as you are 

With all your broken pieces
All your shameful scars
The pain you hold in your heart
Bring it all to Jesus
You can come as you are

Louder than the voice 

That whispers you're unworthy
Hear the sound of love
That tells a different story 

Shattering your darkness 

And pushing through the lies
How tenderly He calls you
His arms are open wide
 
You can come as you are
With all your broken pieces
All your shameful scars
The pain you hold in your heart
Bring it all to Jesus
You can come as you are

 You can come as you are 

 
You can come as you are 

With all your broken pieces
All your shameful scars
The pain you hold in your heart
Bring it all to Jesus
You can come as you are
~Pocket Full of Rocks

Father, with our wrong choices, with broken pieces, shameful scars; You are not mad, You are not disappointed, Your grace is greater still...

Give us courage to lay down our wrong choice, our broken pieces, our shameful scars, to bring the pain we hold in our heart and to come as we are. Your grace is greater still...

We are secure, accepted, and loved by You.

"For we do not have a High Priest
Who is unable to understand and sympathize
and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses
 and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, 
but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, 
yet without sinning. 

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly
draw near to the throne of grace 
(the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), 
that we may receive mercy [for our failures] 
and find grace to help in good time for every need 
[appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]."

~Hebrews 4:15,16 AMP

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How long?

How long? I guess it is a legitimate question. David asked it a lot. It makes me less hesitant knowing that he did, since I would like to ask it too. How long, O Lord? 

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?"

I remembered a video that my dearest friend sent to me about a year ago and the verses from Lamentations 3:

 

He turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces;

He has made me desolate;

He has filled me with bitterness;

He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;

He has made my chains heavy;

though I call and cry for help,

He shuts out my prayer;

My soul is bereft of peace;

I have forgotten what happiness is;

My endurance has perished;

so has my hope from the Lord.

And what it said about them:

God choose to include this in the Bible. He put this in there for you who suffer. Because God knows how you feel. And God needs you to know that He knows how you feel.

I can relate to the words. Sometimes I do feel like that; God is not listening to me! I don't know why. And yes, I was surprised that they were in the Bible. And the fact, as it said, that God chose to include them. Makes me wonder as well. "Sometimes what you need is a God who walks through this with you." Yes, I do. And yes, You do, Lord. You walk with me.

Every time David asked though, he always ended up with - but... affirmation, proclamation.

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love; 

my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 

I will sing to the Lord, 

because he has dealt bountifully with me."

~Psalm 13:5,6

"But we your people, 

the sheep of your pasture,

will give thanks to you forever;

from generation to generation

we will recount your praise."

~Psalm 79:13

 "But the Lord has become my stronghold,

and my God the rock of my refuge."

~Psalm 94:22

So, I too will say: 

"But this I call to mind,
    and therefore I have hope: 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him".

The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord."

~Lamentations 3:21-26 

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As far as

I could not stop thinking about it. I was dazzled by it. I never realized it. I was surprised I've never thought of it either. I was astonished at its discovery.

One of the faithful women who leads our Bible study, His favorite, my beloved, brought up this discovery as she shared with us verses from Psalm 103.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us..."

She pointed out that if you were to go around the globe vertically, heading north you would have to eventually go south to make it around the globe. But if you were to go east or west, you would always go east or west to complete the round.

Wow! I could not believe it. I could not fathom. How brilliant? And it just showed me how cool God is. I was amazed at it's magnitude.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us."

~Psalm 103:11,12

Lord, how amazing are You! How endless are Your mercies! How boundless is Your grace. How infinite Your love.

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A Horse Called Hope

My dear faithful friend sent me this devotional by Richard Sprangler titled "A Horse Called Hope":

Those of us who watched Superbowl 2013, may remember the advertisement with a Clydesdale foal. The story was about a man who raised a foal. He bottle-fed it, slept with the foal when it became sick, and played with and trained it. The man and the young horse bonded. Then one day a company truck came and took the horse away. The man missed his companion. 

Three years later the man goes to a parade and the Clydesdales go by. The horse sees the man and as soon as he is free of the carriage, charges off and the man and his horse are reunited. The company asked people to help name the foal seen in the first part of the commercial. Well after more than 60,000 tweets and Facebook comments, "Hope" was one of the most popular names; so the horse is named Hope.

 
This led to a simple and true realization that people are looking for hope. This is the heart cry of those who submitted the name "Hope" whether they realize it or not.

A constant drumbeat of negativity is tearing individuals down. People are losing or have lost hope. We see this in the "I don't care", "What's the use", "Nothing will ever change" attitudes gripping our world today. People are giving up, losing faith and losing hope. Some are killing themselves, their families and others because they see no hope for the future.

We as believers can also lose hope. I have lost hope from time to time. There have been times in my life when the circumstances of life have caused me to say, "What's the use? I give up. Nothing's going to change." And yes I have prayed, "Lord, take me home." This has occurred in my life when I lost sight of God and I let circumstances draw me away from my relationship with God.

But, there is hope! The Bible states, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (NIV)

God is a God of hope. He wants each of us hope in Him. Many say, "I have been lied to so many times. Promises have not been kept. Why should I hope? Why should I believe?" God is not human and does not lie, He keeps His promises. 

"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19 (NIV)

"In the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time," Titus 1:2 (NIV)

We as believers must continue to place our hope in God, Our Father, in spite of the circumstances we see around us. This is not always easy, but we must set our minds and hearts on Him. If you trust His timetable and that God loves you, knows what you are going through and will keep His promises, He will restore your hope. 

What about those who live in the world and do not know these truths? They do not understand that God loves them, that He is Hope and that He keeps His promises. We, as believers know these truths and we have the responsibility to tell those who are hopeless, "There is hope." We must be willing in these times to stand up and say, "There is a hope and that hope is in Jesus Christ." 

This hope is not just for the sweet by and by or when we all get to heaven; but it is for the nasty here and now. God is Hope and He is willing to give Himself to you if you are willing to receive Him.

It was this time last week when I felt great despair. I felt desperate as I let my circumstances draw me away. But even more terrifying was the thought of what I would do, if I did not have You, Lord. The hope I have in You. What if in fact, I did not have someone to help me like You do, love me like You do, comfort me like You do. What if in fact, I was alone.

Lord, but I trust You. I trust your timing. I know that You love me. That You know what I am going through. That You will keep Your promises.

Lord Jesus, you restored my hope. But I am sad for those who don't know You. How tragic that they don't know You love them, that You are willing to give Yourself to them if they will be willing to receive You.

Lord, I take the responsibility to tell those who are hopeless, "There is hope." I am willing to stand up and say, "There is a hope and that hope is in Jesus Christ." 

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My hope and expectation

Lord, I can see it now. I was expecting a different outcome. I wanted things to go certain way, but they didn't. When it did not go as I had hoped it was as if it took my hope.

But my hope isn't gone. "My hope and expectation are in You." ~Psalm 39:7 AMP 

I was reminded of people who had an image of how their Messiah would come. When You did not come the way they expected You to, they withheld honor from You; they didn't believe in You.

My expectations let me down. But I was never to have those expectations. It was my will that I wanted and was disappointed when it did not come to pass. I see the danger in it. It's like I've set a trap for myself and stepped into it. And boy, did it hurt.

But Lord, not my will, but Yours, be done. My hope and expectations and in You.

Lord, may I always see this picture every time I try to have expectations of what I want, before Yours, apart from Yours. May it remind me of the pain and how stuck I would be and prevent me from doing so. May I see the "crown" instead and look beyond myself to the reward You have for me. And as it's shadow let it be greater than I expect...

 

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, 

for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, 

which God has promised to those who love him."

~James 1:12

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You are my all in all

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You like a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my cross my sin my shame
Raising again I praise Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I run dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Holy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Holy is Your name

~Not complete lyrics

Jesus, like Peter, I wonder... "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." ~John 6:68

Lord, You are our all. Let us let You be our all. Not to look to anyone or anything else. Lord, be everything to everyone, supreme, the indwelling and controlling factor of life.
We need YOU! 

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My all in all

Lord, it's these words that I need to read, that I need to speak, that I need to hear today. To correct my thinking, my vision as I am fixing my eyes on You this day. I adopted these words from a life-changing book I read:

"Jesus' yoke becomes easy when I allow Him to do the work and simply walk along beside Him. When He does the work, I am drawn into a close, loving, appreciative dependency on Him. Because I am dependent on Him, He becomes the source of my praise. He becomes the source of my life. My thoughts, actions, and attitudes revolve around Him. Jesus Himself becomes the focal point of this life and eternity. Before men, I acknowledge Him for His grace, love, and mercy. Before God, He becomes my source of confidence, peace, joy, and praise. Apart from the grace of the Lord Jesus, I can never come into the all-consuming personal relationship the Bible calls for. However, in the fullness of His grace, He becomes my all in all."

Jesus, I depend on You. I acknowledge You for Your grace, love and mercy. Be my source of confidence, peace, joy, and praise. Be my all in all.

"For He [the Father] has put all things

 in subjection under His [Christ’s] feet.

But when it says, All things are put in subjection

 [under Him], it is evident that He [Himself]

is excepted Who does the subjecting of all things to Him.

However, when everything is subjected to Him,

then the Son Himself will also subject Himself to [the Father]

Who put all things under Him, so that God may be all in all

[be everything to everyone, supreme,

the indwelling and controlling factor of life]."
~1 Corinthians 15:27,28 AMP

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